I wonder sometimes how many options we come across in daily life. I wonder how those choices affect who we become. Do we follow a path like a zig-zag depending on the choices that we make or is it more like many lines that come together for some period of time then diverge into a millions paths just to come back together? Or is it something more complex? Like a hallway full of doors that are interlinked?
If I decided to stay in the restaurant business, where would I be now? Would I have my wife? Would I live in this home? By deciding to go a different direction, I may have lost the life that I could have had. Now, saying "I could of have had" makes it sound like I regret that decision. That is not the case. I am just trying to portray that I may have lost whatever life that decision would have granted me.
But did I actually lose it? If so, where did it go? Is it irretrievable?
Another way to think about it is that that life is not forever lost, but running parallel to my current life. No, not a parallel world where another me is living some other life. But to keep things clear, I'll refer it to "parallel life".
I feel that parallel lives are not stagnant but able to move and follow, but with the inability to alter my current life. Someday down that road, I may make a decision that converges my current life with one that I have forsaken way back when. But it cannot converge unless that parallel life is dynamic and moving along with me. If I move too far along the hallway and I run out of doors to go into, do I just start bumping along the walls till I reach the end?
